Thoughts

Ahhhhhhhh what a couple of weeks it has been. Paige just cant seem to stay healthy. First we cancel our trip to Florida due to a nasty ear infection and now she has another one or the same one that just didn't clear up. She has been pulling on the ear and i knew something was up but it didn't seem to bother her unless she was tired. I thought perhaps it was just a habit she had started. Then Tuesday night I knew something wasn't right. I picked her up from daycare and she immediately fell asleep in the car. Normally she would wake up smiling and laughing but not this time. WOOHOO she was pissed. She felt warm and sure enough she had a temp. Panic mode starts to set in, you see I am deathly afraid of swine flu at this point. I think about it constantly so the second she gets even a low grade temp I freak!!!!. After getting her down at 8pm I decided our rectal thermometer wasn't working and needed one for the night because what if she woke up roasting and I didn't have an accurate thermometer. So off I went to Rite Aid at 8:30pm on a cold rainy Wednesday night. While driving through "town" i spot a popular restaurant/bar on the right with a few young looking girls outside smoking cigarettes and laughing their asses off. And then I realize..........WOW how life has changed. 5 years ago I was that girl. Out on a Wednesday night laughing and having a good time without a care in the world. Now I am the stressed out mom who is slightly over weight and frantically driving to Rite Aid to get a RECTAL THERMOMETER. When did that happen I ask myself?

Sleeping has been alittle tough because Paige is not sleeping well. At 4:30am she started stirring. I scooped her up and brought her in bed with me. This has become our new routine and we both enjoy it. Usually if I do this she will sleep until 6 or even 7. I semi-sleep and just watch her sleep most of the time. Our position is always the same. We both turn our bodies to face each other basically nose to nose. I can feel her breath on my face and its so peaceful. Sometimes she will reach out for me and just lay her hand on my face. This morning we both woke up at the same time. So there we are at 5:30am in the morning staring at each other.....nose to nose. I say "Hi Baby girl" she puts the biggest smile on her face and makes alittle coo and I MELT. By far the best moment I have had in a while. At that point I realized our bond is so strong. I am by far her favorite person and she is mine. At some point this will change and she wont even want to be seen with me but for right now we are totally BFF's:)