Wordless Wednesday- Some recent pics of my girl

Feels the same but different

Friday was my yearly OB appointment. I talked awhile with my doctor about trying to get pregnant. The truth is we have been off the pill since March and although I am cycling (irregularly) I suspect I am not ovulating. She agreed although I did go by an OPK last night and will begin testing at the end of this week. I begged her to give me some Femara to let me try on my own but she would not budge. She feels that we would be "wasting time" and I should just go back to the RE and "get it done." Easier said than done. Its emotionally hard for me to go through all this shit again. The blood work, U/S, baby making ALL while trying to raise a very demanding 18month old!!! Sometimes I feel like I will be robbing her of time with me but I have to put that out of my mind. The truth is I am doing this for her!! My husband and I are only children......if I do not give her a sibling she will be all alone in this world after we are gone. I pains me to think that way but its the truth. SO we will forge on, pray for this to work as quickly as it did the last time and hope for a miracle.

Still Here

I am still here. Its hard to believe that my baby girl is 17months old. She is beautiful and sassy, and loving and everything I ever thought she would be and more. I love her more than I could ever imagine and cant wait to get home everyday to spend time with her. Its with that said that I also have a confession. I want another baby in the worst way. Sometimes when I say that I feel like I am cheating her. I made an appointment with my OB on 8/20 and then an appointment with the RE 9/21. I have been off the pill since March and not really trying but also not preventing. I secretly dreamed that maybe I would be one of those women who gets shocked to find out she got pregnant the 2nd time around without even really "trying". I guess that's not the case.

I am scared and excited all at once. I want more than anything to give baby girl a sibling. I only hope that I can be blessed one more time to have the experience.

Here's to praying for success!!!!

Courtney B:)