I am still here. Still numb. Still frustrated
I started this month with 7.5 mg of Femara for CD3-7. They brought me in on CD 10 and 12. By CD#12 I had a front runner on my right side that was 14 1/2. That is the biggest egg I have ever had. I thought this was an achievement (even if it was on the wrong side) but apparently Dr. S does not think so. I got a call from the nurse the next day saying he wants to start me on inject ables. I still don't know the details but she told me that this process becomes much more involved and I will be monitored closely. We go in 12/22 for a meeting with Dr. S and then a teach session on how to give the shots. After receiving the call I was a bit in shock. I let the news set in and when I got home the hubs and I had a talk. My bottom line is that I will do what it takes to get this done. He made me promise when we started this journey that I would not get "crazy" and be realistic. I have tried really hard to keep my emotions under control. I haven't cried too much about my failed cycles and tried to remain positive. I have always said that if I could look into the future and KNOW with certainty that a pregnancy would be the end result I would do WHATEVER it takes. But isn't that the problem with infertility, you never know what the end result is going to be. You never know that if you just did one more cycle, moved to inject ables, IUI, IVF if that would be the BFP cycle. That is what keeps me on this roller coaster ride. For now I will ride and try and fight for another baby, but at some point I guess I might have to make the decision to get off. We will see:)
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